Writing Vows, and The Art Of Doing So

To start, I’ll say that yes, I am currently writing my vows. Secondly, that I hope this is a one-time thing.

While that may be an obvious statement, I think it warrants a deeper glance. To write one’s vows. It is an activity, or experience, that will- presumably- take place only once.

According to Wikipedia, marriage vows are binding promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony.

As is the case for me, this is the first time I have written vows. It will also be the last. That is not to intimate that I am having an awful time doing so, or some such similar story. Frankly, that is farthest from the truth. It is to say, though, that Jessica and I will be wed until our deaths some (long) time down the line. Or, in other words, I love her so deeply, so wonderfully, that it is inane to think I would live my life apart from her.

Peter and Wendy - New Year's Eve 2008 - Our First Together

But it is precisely because of this I am not an expert on the matter. Practice makes perfect, they say, and I will only be doing this once. And so it stands to reason that those who do marry numerous times have a better chance at creating the very best Marriage Vow.

Of course, this is a generalized take on the matter. There are countless variables in place here.

  • One: not everyone writes their own vows.
  • Two: if he or she does, that does not mean they will write them the second time, or the third time.
  • Three: if he or she does write them the first time and like what they say, they can then use them for the second, third or fourth time. All that is needed is some minor editing.
  • Four: not everyone can write well.
    *Take this all with a grain of sea salt

Jessica and Non - 2010 - Photo by Lesley Sopp-Lukens

I suppose the point I am trying to make, if there is at all a chance of making a point in such a deluge of poppycock, is that the activity of writing one’s vows is necessarily an intimate, personal matter, reliant upon one’s own experience, one’s own emotional prowess and one’s own ability to write. It cannot be outlined in a How To Guide, or quantified in any reasonable way. It is your unique way of telling your wife or husband-to-be that your love for them is immense, that it is enduring and unmatched. You don’t need to be an expert. But you do need to give it all you have. Leave it all on the floor, or page.

So you write your vows once, and you do so to the very best of your ability. But you don’t attempt to be an expert on the matter. No sir, that’s for the crazies.

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2 thoughts on “Writing Vows, and The Art Of Doing So

  1. jdobs says:

    “I love you. F*#k Yeah.” That is what my vows will be like.

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