My Traffic is Better Than Jake’s

As an experiment, to see how much traffic one post can muster (beware, not intended for children, or anyone with half a brain) I give you the following:

“The Twinkies diet works,” she says.

“No way man, The Walking Dead diet is better! I mean, think about it, Kim Kardashian is on it. Have you seen her lately?” he muses.

“Yah, yah, I saw her on Keith Olbermann. She was blabbing on about her threesome with Katy Perry and Kanye West. The slut.”

“I’ll look that up on YouTube later. Have you seen the video with her, Barack Obama and Jessica Alba dressed up like The Hobbit, with Peter Jackson going on and on about Mark Twain, and Conan O’Brien tap dancing on Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows?”

“Yep, I saw it. Anyway, it’s true man. The Twinkies diet works. I played Mass Effect 2 and Red Dead Redemption the other day and ate nothing but Twinkies. I’ve already lost 20 pounds!”

“Bullshit. If you want to figure out the best way to lose weight, get yourself of social security and medicare. Those are killers. By the way, did you buy those video games? I get all of my video games for free. Free video games! And all of them have naked women. That’s a reason enough to lose weight.”

“You’re nuts, you know that? Ya got swine flu or something?”

“Nope. But I can’t wait for the new Twilight movie.  That’s going to be great.”

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3 thoughts on “My Traffic is Better Than Jake’s

  1. Jake Kilroy says:

    This is bullshit.

  2. Jessica says:

    Who is Kate Perry?

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