The Day I Stopped Eating – Volume Two

It was then, on that day, I had stopped eating.

Some time before that, it was a series of father-acts-like-father, mother-cries-on-shoulder, father-berates-mother, mother-bad mouths-father, father-reacts-in-violence sort of episodes. And a little while before that it was mostly silence, and pondering. Silence and pondering and worrying. Then, sometime later, it was the control.

Losing control in the marriage I could not fix. In the relationship I could not mediate. In the anguish I could not subdue.

Fighting to hold onto some semblance of hope, happiness.

And yet I lost it all. All but one.

The control I had over my physical self. The frame of which melted to a paltry skin and bones, a pallid palate of sharp angles and sunken atrophies and aches that went on for days.

Slowly, and surely, I stopped eating.

I couldn’t bring myself to do much of it. Didn’t pay much mind to it.

Eating, then, had become a useless activity, a waste of time, of energy.

And so I gave it up in pursuit of melancholy dreams, and the hair that fell out in clumps while I slept, and the bones that rattled to and fro, and the ache in my heart that I just, quite simply, decided to exacerbate.

More to come your way in Volume Three (you can read Volume One here)

*Note: the impetus for these recent outpourings are nothing to do with the eating. I am a healthy eater. Don’t fret about that. The impetus, rather, is of a familial nature. A parental nature. To do with the father, specifically; and to this man I say, no more, sir. I am done.


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3 thoughts on “The Day I Stopped Eating – Volume Two

  1. […] More to come your way in Volume Four (if you haven’t read the first two: here’s one and two) […]

  2. […] earlier entries in the series (Volume One, Two and […]

  3. […] previous installments with Volume 1, 2, 3 and 4. You See? I Am Happy. Happy With Leg Kicks and Beaches and Adorable […]

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