Bizarro Sleep Jessica

Nary a night passes without encountering the sleeping, alternative, bizarro version of Jessica. It goes like this: she falls asleep, waits 45-minutes, and then either talks in gibberish, screams out, sits up while talking in gibberish or screaming out or both, or gets out of the bed entirely, only to disturb, frighten and off-put myself and Scooby.

It isn’t her fault, of course. But there does seem to be a connection between her stress levels and these occurrences. And that, I’d claim, is within her control.

To better clarify and depict, I am going to present a hypothetical scenario; something that is wholly possible and very much similar to real life.

Jessica falls asleep at 10:30pm. The pillow beneath her head is a haphazard lump, punched and squished and balled up for maximum support and softness. Non is awake, playing with the iPad, or reading a book by headlamp light.

Jessica: “What are you so there No it’s not going to linens! He’s afraid no carpet peanut butter why don’t you stop but…”

Non: “Jessica, Jessica, you’re asleep.”

Jessica: “What, no. No.”

Non: “Jessica, it’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

Jessica: “What are you, no, he’s down here.”

Non: “Who’s down here?”

Jessica: “But he is. No, jellybeans.

Non: “I love jellybeans. Come on, you’re asleep, you need to get back to bed.”

Jessica is sitting up in bed now, reaching over the side for something.

Jessica: “No, but it’s here. No, what are you doing?”

Non: “I’ll just put it out of its misery.”

Jessica: “No, but it’s scared.”

Non: “Exactly. Scaredy cats must die.”

Jessica: “It’s Marmaduke.”

Non: “Dog, cat, same difference.”

Jessica: “But…the yarn.”

Non: “Yarn isn’t going to help this one.”

Jessica: “….”

Non: “Say goodbye.”

Jessica: “But…”

Non: “Jessica, it’s okay, just go back to sleep.”

Jessica: “But, he’s not knowing…”

Non: “Jessica, he can’t know.”

Jessica: “What?”

Non: “He can’t know. He’s only made of polenta.”

At this point, Jessica is just starting to wake, but is still very much out of it.

Jessica: “What?”

And here she kind of groans.

Non: “Polenta can’t reason. No brains in there.”

Jessica: “Brains?”

Non: “That’s right. Brains are good.”

Jessica: “….”

Non: “Yummy, yummy brains brains.”

Jessica: “….”

Non: “Go to sleep Jessica.”

Jessica lays her head back onto the balled up pillow, squishes her pink face blanket into her cheek. Non goes back to iPad or book.

It’s the prodding that makes it all worth it.

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